Mom! How did my mom survive rising me?
As an infant, I screamed and only slept two hours every twelve. I had a traumatic birth because I didn’t lay right in the birth canal. The doctor said he did the best with my head (that he could). I have a lot of bumps because they were trying to direct me properly. I was born screaming, with bright red hair and defected…
The Way of Love
God defines love beautifully in 1 Corinthians 13. This love is sacrificial and only God can display this to us. Man is marred by the corruption of sin, and it has blinded our hearts and minds to this supernatural love. God so loved his lost people so much, that He sent His Son to…
Six Lies… I use to Believe.
After episodes of mania or depress, I hated myself. My bipolar manifests mainly into mania. Many outsiders may mistakenly believe mania is fun. My manic bouts turned into psychosis, which is states of delusions, hallucinations, and incoherent…
Restless Dreams
Mulling endless hours, mindlessly gazing at my ceiling which is summoning sleep. One night turning into a week of sleeplessness. Unable to calm my mind to focus, the loudness of my thoughts interrupting my ability to rest. At first, I do not concede…
What is Hope?
The secular definition of hope is much different than how God defines hope. The Webster dictionary first defines hope as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Through our worldly eyes, we see hope…
Being Thankful and Giving Hope!
Thank you for helping me serve the Lord’s Kingdom for many years. In October 2020, I answered God’s calling to live on mission and partner with SALT to be a full-time…
Thankfulness
November is a time that Americans give thanks as we celebrate Thanksgiving in a few weeks. Thankfulness is defined by our praising God in all things, the storms, and blessings. Blessings are from God or others…
Testament of a Faithful Walk Through the Fire
John Newton penned the most famous hymn, Amazing Grace, which is still a favorite today. Most Christians don’t know about an amazing aspect of John Newton’s life. In the summer of 1767, Newton became dear friend…
Bipolar is a Blessing!
Bipolar is a blessing from God, and I would not have it any other way. I would not give up the hardships, because that really has glorified God, using my mess for His message. What the world sees as a curse, God…
Shhh…
Suicide. One of the greatest tragedies and most misunderstood words is suicide. What would compel someone to end their life? We don’t like to talk about suicide, because it is uncomfortable. People whisper after a suicide. People quietly wonder was that sudden death a suicide. People don’t want to hurt the survivors of a suicide. They don’t know…
Back to School
Returning to school after summer break was walking on broken glass without shoes. I was that weird kid in school. The one everyone picked on, from the school bully, teachers, other bullied kids, and other parents. Summers were filled with summer school, tutoring and other structured…
Visible Invisibility: Life on Two Spectrums
A lot of times I feel visible invisibility. Mental illness is labeled the disease of the lonely. Autism is a conduit of the lonely. Living with both a mental illness and autism is extremely difficult. Some symptoms are similar, but then there are other symptoms that exacerbate each other. There are many times I want to be alone; but then there…
Why Ukraine?
I didn’t pick Ukraine. I never thought I would ever serve abroad. It is extremely difficult to live out of your comfort zone when you have Asperger’s. God showed how my story prepared me to…
Fireflies…
My thoughts are fireflies dancing with the heat of a mid-summer night. The glistening yellow beacons pierce the emptiness of the black heavens. I’m an observer while my sanity escapes from the mania of madness. It fills the atmosphere in a pastoral dance….
Bipolar and God
How can bipolar disorder be a blessing from God? It seems like a strange question. God uses everything for His glory. God doesn’t do evil…
I Have a Story to Tell
I have a story to tell, that God wrote for me. How did a Christian with Bipolar and Asperger’s end up serving in Ukraine? The world and even some Christians see a very broken person, but God sees His glory in my affliction. I have been to Ukraine…
Teaching Linda
I met Linda when she first came into Sykesville Middle School as a sixth grader. I had taught her older sister and her mother was a volunteer for the team I taught on, so I was familiar with…
Autism Awesomeness Month
I was that weird out of place kid. The one that never fit in with any group in school. Even the weirdos didn’t accept me. School was a navigational nightmare. As soon as I got into the routine, summer recess began. I loved summertime, I was free to ride my bike …